Do you feel confused and overwhelmed? Discover yourself and find out who you really are and what matters the most to you.
Most people are busy with their every day responsibilities, work, home, school and forget to take some time to reflect on what is really important to them.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
Aristotle
For example we wake up in the morning, struggle to get the kids to school, rush to get to work on time, and juggle with demands and distractions throughout the day.
We are exposed to so much information in our daily life that our mind wanders from one topic to the next without finding out what really matters to us.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to have a better understanding of who you are and what matters the most to you.
Understanding who you are will help you easily make decisions that are aligned with your values and beliefs.
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free”
ralph ellison
Keep in mind that the way you view yourself is more important than how others view you.
Books, movies, and friends may provide insightful information about yourself but none of this actually compares to what you can learn about yourself from journaling and reflecting about your life.
Prepare to Discover Yourself
It is time to look for a quiet and comfortable place to start your self-discovery journey.
Turn your phone off and schedule some uninterrupted quiet time for 20 minutes.
Once you answer these questions about yourself you will have a better idea of who you are and what goals will make you happy.
A good strategy is to answer these questions in a notebook, journal, or diary so you can reread your answers and reflect on what you wrote the previous day.
If you are not familiar with journaling here are some tips on how to get started.
Think of it like a project of self-discovery. Write a response for a couple of questions each day.
“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?
rumi
After answering these questions, you will discover who you really are.
From this point on you will be able to chart your path forward with confidence of where you want to go in life.
These questions about yourself are divided into three categories.
First answer easy questions, then go to intermediate and finally tackle the difficult questions.
Easy Questions to Discover Yourself
1 – What are my Areas of Strengths?
Strengths are skills, abilities, or things you do well without much effort.
What are you good at?
What tasks do you complete at home or work?
Do you get always the same compliments?
What comments do people make about you?
Here are some examples of strengths:
- solving problems
- remaining calm during stressful situations
- persevering despite obstacles
- making other people laugh
- listening
- prioritizing tasks
- planning for the future
- being on time
- having experience or knowledge in specific areas
- achieving work or personal goals with ease
- anticipating other’s needs
“The only journey is the one within”
rainer maria rilke
2 – How did I Overcome the Most Difficult Situations in my Life?
We all deal with difficult times or situations in life.
If you want to discover yourself make a list of the most stressful experiences in your life.
Here are some examples of stressful situations:
- moving to a new city or country
- the passing of loved ones
- struggling with money
- losing a job
- dealing with difficult relationships
- getting sick
- struggling with addiction
- being exposed to traumatic experiences
- starting a new job
- caring for a sick person
- struggling with mental health
Start by listing 3 difficult circumstances and how you overcame them.
For example, Oprah Winfrey had a traumatic childhood because she was both physically and sexually abused. She had to surrender to a “power greater than herself” to persevere and make it through.
Also, Steve Jobs was fired from Apple when he was 30 years old. He created and worked in other businesses. This experience helped him to reinvent himself.
Stephen King struggled with rejection letters, self-confidence, and addictions. He overcame them by listening to his wife and family.
3 – Do I have Positive or Negative Feelings About my Life?
You have positive feelings about your life when you are content, satisfied, and grateful for your current circumstances, your relationships, and the overall direction of life.
On the other hand, you have negative feelings when you feel disappointed, angry, anxious, and dissatisfaction most of the time.
How do you feel about your health, relationships, work, and family life?
Are you making progress toward your goals?
Do you see progress in the right direction?
How did you feel about yourself in the last week, month, and year?
4 – If Money is not an Area of Concern
Many times we have to decide between money and what we enjoy doing. We prioritize paying the bills and then we are too tired to engage in activities that we love.
However, if money is not an area of concern we can focus on what we really enjoy doing.
After moving to a new house, buying an expensive car, traveling to exotic destinations, saving money, and relaxing, what would you do with your time?
When we think about money, many times we get stuck in all the expensive things that promise happiness and fulfillment.
Think about what you would do if you had more than enough money for everything you want to do and have. What would you do then?
What activities would bring you joy and fulfillment?
Is there anything you are doing now that you would continue doing even if you had a lot more money?
“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the way in which you yourself have altered.”
Nelson Mandela
5 – What is the Most Important Component in my Life?
Some people feel lost without their job, family or friendships.
What component of your life allows you to feel your best?
Maybe going to work every day makes you feel helpful and you enjoy the daily challenges.
Looking your best may be the most important component for you because you enjoy exercising and feeling full of energy.
For some people it may be spending quality time with their kids.
The lack of these component makes you feel empty and worried.
6 – What do People Admire About Me?
What are other people’s most frequent comments or compliments?
It may be your sense of style, your sense of humor, determination, problem solving skills, ability to connect with others.
What do people admireor appreciate about you?
“The journey toward self-discovery is life’s greatest adventure.”
Arianna Huffington
Intermediate Questions to Ask Yourself
7 – Five People I Admire
We all look up to others for inspiration. Our first role models are our parents. As grown-ups we may act by mimicking their behavior or by doing exactly the opposite.
Think about 3 people that you have always looked up to. It may be family members, authors, politicians, leaders, coworkers, celebrities, or people of influence.
Who are the people you think about most frequently?
Do you ponder what the person would do in your situation?
Maybe you have a problem and think about what the other person would do in your shoes.
Don’t worry so much about the number five, write down as many as you want and then start eliminating until you have between three to five.
8 – What Do I Admire in Others
To discover yourself we also have to focus on what we admire in others. Look at the top 3 people you admire. What exactly do you like about them?
Who do you compare yourself with?
Maybe you admire Helen Keller’s patience, determination, and perseverance to learn to communicate with others despite her disabilities.
You may be inspired by Marie Curie’s dedication to science despite very difficult working conditions.
Do you admire Mother Theresa’s empathy and dedication to serve people in need?
What do you admire from those around you? Think about your family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends.
9 – What do I Like about Myself?
Look at yourself in the mirror and find everything you like about yourself.
What are your positive traits?
You may like that you are always on time. A good problem solver? Someone who can make others smile effortlessly? Make people feel calm and relaxed around you?
Take some time to think and list everything you like about yourself including your image, your relationships, traits, and skills.
10 – What is my Passion?
Your passion is related with what you love doing.
Think about activities in which you become fully immersed and can easily focus on the task.
You know you are passionate about something when you could spend hours doing it and lose track of time.
It’s about being absorbed in the process and not so much about the end result.
Here are some examples:
Bill Gates started as an amateur programmer. In eight grade he skipped math class to design early video games.
Walt Disney enjoyed drawing from an early age. Furthermore, he launched several unsuccessful animations before coming up with Mickey Mouse.
Stephen King started writing short stories as a child and he never stopped despite the many rejection slips that he received.
Be honest about what you love doing. If you spend hours playing video games, watching sports, or cooking, write it down. There are no good or bad passions.
Once you know what you love doing and are passionate about, think about how you could include more of this into your life.
Also, think about activities that you enjoyed as a child and are still enjoy doing now.
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
Eckhart Tolle
A Difficult Question to Ask Yourself
This question is difficult to answer because it involves all your different roles and experiences in life such as being a child, sibling, student, friend, worker, spouse, parent, and mentor.
These different experiences determine who we are, our values, and traits.
In addition if you answered all of the previous questions you will find it easier to to come up with insightful answers.
11– Who am I?
If you want to discover yourself, this is one of the most important questions.
However, it’s a complex question because you have to step outside of yourself to define who you are.
Let’s break this question into different aspects of yourself.
What are you good at?
Think about what you enjoy doing and what comes effortlessly to you.
What do people need your assistance for?
Do people ask for your assistance to complete specific tasks? Maybe you are good at fixing appliances, reading, explaining information, finding solutions to problems.
What do your surroundings say about you?
This is not the time to judge yourself as being disorganized or a hoarder of junk. It’s about observing and describing what you see.
Look at the place you live in. What do you see? Is it orderly, organized, functional or crowded, messy, and unorganized?
The way you are is not good or bad it depends on how comfortable you feel in your own skin.
What words do you use to describe yourself? Are they mostly positive or negative?
For instance, are you making progress toward meeting the goals you set for yourself this year, last year or the year before?
These questions will help you discover yourself and understand what matters most to you.
Congratulations on starting your self-discovery journey.
What question was the most difficult for you to answer? Let me know in the comments below.
