Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.

Aristotle

If we don’t find a way to overcome self-criticism we won’t be able to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Even though, our self-criticism is trying to keep us safe from judgment and disappointment it also keeps us away from our creativity and exciting opportunities.

Moreover, self-criticism can trap us in a self-defeating circle of never trying anything new or meaningful.

It is important to overcome self-criticism because when we start to look for negative aspects in ourselves we will find more and more.

In addition, self-criticism will make us focus on unrealistic models, such as photoshopped pictures, holding us back from moving forward.

If we want to live a happy, creative, and fulfilling life we need to overcome self-criticism.

Also, self-criticism can lead to depression, stress, self-harm, eating disorders, anxiety, and lack of happiness. 

Critics are not the enemy – the battle is in our own head.

Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

What is Self-Criticism?

Self-criticism is a mental habit of negatively analyzing and judging ourselves and our actions.

It is a strategy for coping with the imperfections associated with an inferior or inadequate perceived self.

According to Denise Jacobs author of Banish Your Inner Critic, self-criticism is the desire to protect ourselves from being judged, rejected, or criticized by doing it ourselves.

Our self-criticism is like a compilation of all the critical information that we experienced and internalized in our life.

Self-criticism is rooted in fear and it stops us from taking action on our ideas.

Examples of Self-Criticism

Did you ever think or say to yourself:

“I never do anything right.”

“I will be boring and suck.”

“Nobody is interested in my ideas.”

“Anyone could do this better than I do.”

Signs that you are overly critical of yourself include:

• Setting the Bar too High  

Unrealistic expectations can become an obstacle to achieving what you want.

Being too hard on yourself can push you down instead of propelling you towards your dreams and goals. 

Therefore, try to focus less on the end-result and more on the present moment. This can motivate you and make you feel less frustrated.

• Comparing Yourself to Others 

Do you often compare your career, grades, looks, weight, income, or attire with that of others?

If yes, it’s important to note that comparing yourself to others is a root cause for self-criticism, misery, and unhappiness. 

Comparison encourages you to pay attention to what you dislike about yourself and your life.

Therefore, it is important that you avoid comparing yourself to others. 

• Constantly Blaming Yourself 

Self-blame is a common reaction to self-criticism.

Examples of self-blame include criticizing yourself for things beyond your control or things you didn’t do.

In addition, you may have a habit of blaming yourself when things go wrong even when it wasn’t your fault. 

Well, the truth is that we tend to be our own worst critic when things happen contrary to our expectations.

That said, you can overcome self-criticism by dealing with the “should have” and “could have” mentality. 

Constantly blaming yourself can also be through negative self-talk.

• Rejecting Compliments 

How do you normally handle compliments?

Do you regularly push away the praise instead of accepting it and letting it sink in?

Well, another good example of self-criticism is pointing out your flaws whenever someone compliments you. 

When your inner critic is active, you may be unable to accept praise or even say thank you.

In addition, your self-critical mind may make you discredit yourself every time someone compliments you without realizing you’re doing it. 

Nonetheless, it’s possible to break such a habit and begin to appreciate compliments. 

Why is my Inner Voice so Critical? 

We all have an inner critic, which can at times be very strong. 

As little kids, our parents, teachers, neighbors, siblings, and relatives told us what to do and how to behave using a lot of critical messages.   

These critical messages were internalized and as grown ups we believe they are our own thoughts.

In addition, how you interpret other people’s reactions to your messages can make you feel unlikable.

For instance, if people tend to respond to your messages with annoyance, your inner voice is likely to be highly critical.

According to Sharon Begley, in her book Train Your Mind, Change your Brain, criticism from others and self-criticism activate the same stress mechanism of fight or flight in our brain. 

Let’ s take a look at some strategies to reduce our self-criticism. 

5 Tips on How to Overcome Self Criticism

We can train our mind to ignore self criticism and instead focus on all the positive aspects of ourselves.

If you have been finding yourself stuck in an endless loop of negative thoughts, here’s what you need to do:

1 – Stop Negative Thoughts

Thought stopping is one of the best secrets of how to overcome self-criticism and get rid of negative thoughts.

That said, interrupting your thoughts helps you change how you think about yourself, thus helping you feel better.

You can say to yourself, “Stop”, whenever your inner voice begins to become negative.

It is important to note that changing your negative thought patterns can take time.

However, with enough practice, you will undoubtedly be able to stop unwanted self-defeating thoughts right away.

Once you become aware of how self-criticism works, it’s time to train your mind to focus on the positive,

A good way to overcome self-criticism is to measure your progress instead of how far you are from your ideal situation.

Here are 10 Tips on How to Stop Negative Thoughts.

Never give a negative thought an inch or it will take a mile.

Matshona Dhliwayo

2 – Be Realistic  

Another strategy for how to overcome self-criticism is to replace negative self-critical thoughts with positive realistic statements.

For instance, if you set a goal, be realistic about it by giving yourself sufficient time to achieve it. 

In other words, it’s important to note that achieving success tends to take time.

In fact, having a constant desire to achieve immediate success can ruin your confidence.

Rather, focusing on the present and paying attention to the necessary steps can help you move closer to your goal.

In addition, avoid putting pressure on yourself as that can lead to self-criticism and guilt feelings.

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.

Brene Brown

3 – Avoid Perfectionism

Another secret of how to overcome self-criticism or your inner critical voice is letting go of the need to be perfect.

It’s alright to set high standards for yourself, but falling short of your goals and expectations can make you feel worthless.  

In addition, desiring to be perfect in everything you pursue can hinder your progress, which can lead to self-criticism.

With that in mind, it is important that you maintain an open mind and stop beating yourself up if you want to overcome self-criticism. 

Remember everyone makes mistakes, and it is from those mistakes that you get to improve yourself. 

Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, and respect when you don’t even show that to yourself.

Steve Maraboli

4 – Stop Comparing Yourself to Others 

We all feel insecure and disappointed from time to time.

In addition, it is normal to feel like everyone has a better life than yours, particularly in this era of social media. 

However, it’s important to note that comparing yourself to your peers, friends, or family can increase dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

In addition, comparative self-criticism can make you feel worthless, envious, powerless, less confident, and inadequate. 

That said, the best tip on how to overcome self-criticism is to practice self-acceptance. Accept yourself with your areas of strengths and weaknesses. 

If you want to measure progress focus on where you were before and where you are now.

If you are selling a painting for the first time congratulate yourself instead of feeling sorry for yourself because you sold it only for a little bit of money.

I silence my inner critics exactly the same way I silence my real-life critics: By saying to them very quietly, but very firmly, “If you don’t like what I’m doing, go write your own f**king book.

Elizabeth Gilbert

5 – Journal

When you come across self-criticism or negative thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper.

Writing your ideas on paper has more benefits than typing them on a screen.

When you write your ideas on paper your brain is able to focus, engage, process, remember, and learn from the information.

Ask yourself questions such as:

• Why did this critical thought come to my mind?
• Is this helpful?
• Would someone really say or think something like this?
• Is there a person I know who would say something like that?
• Did someone actually say those words to me before?

Ask and answer every question related to that specific criticism that comes to your mind.

What does your inner critic tell you?

Which strategy do you think will be the most helpful to overcome self-criticism?

Let me know in the comments below.

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