Are you worried about dealing with difficult people at work or your next family gathering?

Difficult people have a fixed and unreasonable way of thinking or acting.

This creates stress for everyone who has to interact with them.

The instinctive response when dealing with difficult people is the primitive fight or flight response. We naturally try to argue or ignore them.

This approach may work for a one time interaction with a difficult person.

However there are more effective ways to communicate with unreasonable family members or coworkers.

10 Easy Steps to Deal with Difficult People

1 – Take Deep Breaths

Breathe slowly in through your nose and fill your belly with air.

Breathe slowly out through your nose.

Repeat at least 5 times

Deep breathing increases the amount of oxygen in your brain, which will make you feel calmer.

Moreover feeling calm will send the message to the other person that you are centered and in control.

2 – Listen Attentively

Let the difficult person explain his or her point of view.

In addition, make sure that you understand and rephrase the words of the other person so that it is clear that you understand the difficult person.

Acknowledge the person’s efforts so that he or she feels comfortable interacting with you.

3 – Show Empathy

Try to understand what the person might be going through. Get into his or her shoes.

Further, it took that person many experiences to become fixated to an unreasonable point of view.

Therefore, showing empathy for what they have been through shows understanding and establishes a safe ground for further communication.

Here are more ways that empathy can make you happy.

4 – Be Aware of Body Language

Our gestures and posture reveal how we feel about a situation regardless of our spoken words. Moreover our facial expression may convey a different message than our words.

Being aware of our own body language helps us to appear more engaging and positive.

Some positive body language includes: relaxed and open facial expression, eye contact, and relaxed arms.

Paying attention to the other person’s body language will help us to adjust what we say and  how we say it.

Some examples of negative body language include: lack of eye contact, overuse of hands, checking the phone, or frowning.

5 – Express Gratitude

Thank the difficult person for sharing this information with you.

It may sound counterintuitive to thank someone for his or her complaint or for stating an irrational point of view.

However, your sincere gratefulness will put the other person at ease and more open to listen and communicate with you.

Here are more ways that gratitude can make you happy.

6 – It’s not About You

When discussions get heated and people start to get angry at each other, remember to not take anything personally.

Moreover, think that the other person is upset and is just getting all the steam out. It’s all about them, not you.

The best thing is to keep calm and try to understand the other person’s point of view.

7 – Choose the Topics

If you already know what will trigger the person’s irrational response, try to avoid it at all cost.

Sometimes we think that this time, we will be able to convince him or her about our own point of view. It seems so logical to us and we are confident about our persuasive skills.

However, avoiding discussions about difficult topics will keep the communication positive.

There are families who ban certain topics during gatherings such as politics, sports, or controversial issues that trigger strong emotions.

If we focus on low emotional issues, most people are able to be flexible and consider different perspectives.

8 – Define Your Goal

What is the reason you are dealing with this difficult person?

Are you trying to be polite, understand, or work with the person?

Do you need to find a solution to a problem?

Is the person involved in some work project that needs to be completed?

What outcome are you looking for?

Once you know what your goal is, you’ll be able to develop a plan to accomplish that task.

9 – Know Your-Self

How much of this difficult situation are you able to handle?

How much stress will make you lose your patience?

What about your attention span?

10 – Limit the Time

Once you feel there is nothing else that can be done to make the situation better, you may excuse yourself or ask someone else to join the conversation.

If you know you will be participating in a difficult meeting, set a time frame at the beginning to make sure everyone knows, especially the difficult person, the duration of the discussion.

How do you deal with difficult people in your life? Please share in the comments below.