How do you feel when someone else is happy or sad? Are you able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes?
Practicing empathy will help you build strong and healthy relationships. Feeling more connected to others will make you feel happier.
What is Empathy?
According to New York University Professor Martin Hoffman, empathy is the ability to experience the feelings of another and to respond with an emotional response that is more appropriate to the state of the other person than to the state of the individual.
Thus, empathy refers to our ability to sense the pleasure or distress of another person. It’s when we understand another person’s experience from his or her point of view.
There are different ways we can practice empathy.
Emotional Empathy
We feel emotional empathy when we experience the feelings of another person. When we connect with someone else’s emotions, we can feel the joy or pain that the other person is experiencing.
When someone tells you that he or she is dealing with a difficult situation, listen carefully. Focus on understanding how the person feels and why the individual is feeling that way.
Many times, we try to alleviate the person’s pain by sharing our personal experience, judging the situation, or finding a solution to the problem without fully understanding how the person feels.
We may react differently to similar circumstances depending on our values, cultural background, age, and particular life experiences.
Children can be emotionally distressed or angry because they have to stop playing their favorite game or go to sleep. It’s not always easy for adults to show some emotional empathy in these situations.
Cognitive Empathy
We feel cognitive empathy when we are able to understand in our mind the reasons of why a person is feeling a certain way. However we may not share the same feelings given the specific situation.
A family member may be happy because he won ten dollars on a scratchers game while his partner may remember the thousands of dollars he’s spent gambling.
To feel cognitive empathy it is helpful to focus on the present moment and the reasons for the other person’s particular feelings.
It may be helpful to ask questions to better understand the reasoning of the person about the emotions he or she is feeling.
We need to take time to understand the particular circumstances and interpret the other person’s mood, behavior or thinking.
Compassionate Empathy
Compassionate empathy is when you take action based on emotional or cognitive empathy.
You may ask the person what you can do to help. If he or she is not sure you may ask yourself what helped you to deal with a similar situation.
You may ask to share your experience or make suggestions. Keep in mind that every situation is different and there may be factors that are out of our control.
Here are some tips on how compassion can increase our happiness.
How Empathy Changes our Mood
Empathy starts when we are babies and our parents mirror our smiles or frowns. When a baby smiles and giggles, the mother smiles and giggles back at the baby.
If parents don’t respond to a baby’s feelings, empathy, and the ability to establish relationships will be impaired.
Humans have systems of mirror neurons that when we observe another person’s intention, emotions, words, or sensations it triggers an automatic and unconscious response.
If we are around happy people through the mirror neurons we also get to experience some of the other person’s happiness and the same happens with all the different emotions.
Think about your feelings when watching a sad movie, reading an emotionally involved book, or listening to an inspiring speech.
We get to feel some of the emotions that the other person is presenting to us. The same happens with our family members, friends, and coworkers.
How to be Happy by Practicing Empathy?
We looked at the different types of empathy and how they work. Now let’s see how empathy impacts our own happiness.
Empathy increases our feelings of connection with others as we share their emotions.
When people around us have positive emotions, we get a boost of our own good feelings.
We can be happy by practicing empathy and feeling other people’s happiness. When someone tells you good news you may ask for more details and feel their joy as your own.
We tend to mirror the feelings of the people around us. However, not matter how happy we are or the people around us are, positive and negative feelings alternate.
When we support our loved ones with empathy, it will strengthen our relationships.
A good start to practice empathy is to pay attention by intently listening and observing people around us. Many of us are more concerned about completing a task, checking our phones, or staring at a screen than connecting with others.
The more you intentionally interact with others, the more tuned in you will feel to their thoughts and feelings.
Empathy will allow for honest and healthy communication in relationships as we are able to understand and feel the other person’s motivations and needs.
Empathy will decrease impulsive reactions and negative interpretations of the other person’s statements. It will take some practice and effort to actively listen, and read other’s emotional message. The result will be stronger and happier relationships.
What is your experience with empathy?
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Sometimes I think I am to empathetic. 🙂 I guess that is not a bad thing.
Empathy is so important!!! This is a great post!! I love what you mapped out here. Thank you!
Empathy is something that one must know and practice indeed. I am often amazed by people who lack empathy.
we should teach empathy to kids as well as habits are formed young that are taken through adulthood
I always try to be empathetic. You never know what others are going through.
I think it’s so important to be empathetic toward others. In doing so, we allow others to open themselves up to vulnerability, and prevent hostile behaviours.
That is exactly what we need more of in the world we live it!!! More Empathy and yes as you said, you practice empathy. Thank you so much for the great post. Sharing it!
I realized that I have been able to become more emphatic now as a mom. These are great tools to use.
It is always a good thing to practice empathy. We all need someone to care.
I am not a kind of person who has a lot patience, but when I become a mom I am now more concerned with my behavior I learned how to empathize and try to understand people around me.
What an excellent article! I didn’t realize there were actually different types of empathy. This makes so much sense why toxic people can be so draining! If you can be happy through sharing another persons emotions with empathy then you can definitely be sad or angry sharing another persons empathy!
I think over the years I’ve hardened myself to be less empathetic and I now find myself wanting to soften that. It’s not easy, kindness is a huge part of that.
It is so important to be able to ‘walk in another person’s shoes’ by imagining their situation applied to your own circumstances. If you are to be effective in displaying empathy toward a person in distress, it is always key to properly listen to the whole story. Never assume things and always keep an open mind. Practising empathy I think helps to make you a happier and more fulfilled person.
That is a great topic. Empathy is a virtue and we all should follow it.
If you are empathetic in your personal life, you will most likely be in your professional life and vice versa. Both facets must be part of an integrated whole to which we must aspire. Our goal is to keep moving forward and learning every day to be better. It is just a matter of effort and will.
My oldest son is a very empathetic person. He always feels what others are feeling, even if he doesn’t understand at only 6 years old. Sometimes it’s too much for him, but I love that he knows how to emotionally connect with people.
This is one thing I taught my children early on in life. It is very important that we tune in to the feelings of others and to practice active listening when they start to talk. I am now doing the same thing with my grandson.
I do agree that empathy can help strengthen a relationship. I wish we’d have practiced it more when I was married.
As a mom, empathy is one thing I really hope to teach my sons. It’s such an important part of being a helpful member of society.
Always can find great life tips here. Today yet another great share on empathy that many will find useful!
Making kids learn empathy will ensure that they grow up to be responsible and compassionate adults. We must set an example to our children to be sensitive to other people’s feelings and emotions and react appropriately.
Sometimes I think I have too many feeling when it regards other people x
Empathy is the need of the hour in the world where our lives are getting more and more complicated as we get more modern.
I believe that I am an empathetic person. I feel a lot for what others are feeling. But sometimes it is just to much for me to handle.
Sometimes having empathy can be a good thing. I didn’t even know there are different types of empathy.
Feeling empathy is a good thing but if you’re too emotionally empathetic it can’t be good for you. I see it in my own experience that it is only hurting me and even if I know I can’t help anyone by feeling it. In certain professions, related to helping people in distress, professionals need to learn and focus on cognitive empathy because emotional empathy can destroy them.
I always try to be empathetic, you never know what’s going on with someone else. Great post!
This a great article. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I’m almost too empathetic to a fault. I feel way too much even when things have nothing to really do with myself lol
I try my kids to have more empathy in others, I think this is an important value to have as a human and your tip about listening and observing people around us is something I am going to add to my kid’s learning experience.
Ironically, blogging offers an opportunity to be empathetic yet, so many of us fail at times to accomplish that goal because we are rushing to finish and so we leave insipid comments on posts we claim to have read.
I agree with you that first and foremost, developing empathy requires being present, being conscious in our own lives, and being conscientious about the person before us. There is no way around it. ❤️
i always thought that empathy is something we should always have , if we dont then yes we must practice to learn how to be more empathetic
Practicing empathy is such a wonderful reminder! There are so many awful things happening in this world and we all need to be considerate about people in our surrounding!
I love this post, I have really been trying to teach empathy to my children in a deep and meaningful way. I loved how you explained the different types of empathy!
This is very informative about empathy and the different kinds! I try to be as emphatic as I can, especially in my career as a nurse!!
I always try to be empathic to others feelings and experiences, without letting it drain me as well. I think it’s important to practice empathy because it makes you a better, more understandable person.
When people around us have positive emotions, we get a boost of our own good feelings. But when people around us have negative emotions, we get a boost of our own bad feelings… I think we should be less dependent on other people’s moods.
This post is so needed! Too many people these days lack empathy!
I love posts like these. I don’t read enough like this, and I think talking about empathy is so important.
I try to practice as much as possible and always taught my kids to have this trait. This post is such a great reminder to all of us.
Practicing empathy from a very young age can help kids develop better understanding of others and foster healthier relationships.
I loved the post, hope readers will get enough value from it.
This was such a good read as I always practice empathy and it kind of affects my mental peace for sure. I have definitely felt that positive change in my state of mind when people share positive thoughts and vibes.