You thought you found the love of your life and now the relationship ended. We’ve all been there.
Breakups are always emotionally draining and painful, but they are worst when you still love your Ex.
Recent studies found many similarities between the neural alterations in romantic love and drug addiction. This means that a breakup can produce symptoms in our brain and body that are similar to what a drug addict experiences when the substance is withdrawn.
Emotionally it can be very dangerous and can act as a risk factor for depression. There are easy ways to feel better after a breakup.
10 Strategies to feel better after a breakup even if you still love your Ex
1 – Be grateful for the experience
Life is a constant cycle of positive and negative experiences.
Be grateful for having had the opportunity to meet and get to know the other person.
Think about:
- All the wonderful moments that you spent together
- The expectations and plans you had at the beginning of the relationship
- How exciting it was to be together
- The moments of happiness
Then, there were some changes:
- Were there any disappointments or shortcomings?
- Was the time together becoming boring, monotonous, or uninteresting?
- What about miscommunication, disagreements, or arguments?
- Was there a lack of understanding?
Keep in mind everything you learned from being in that relationship.
Many times, the most powerful realization is that we need to take our time to get to know the other person’s feelings and not assume that spending time with us means that he or she loves us.
Moreover, if the other person does not love us, he or she is not the right partner for a love relationship.
This situation will help you understand your priorities and emotional needs, therefore, building a more positive partnership next time.
If you feel grateful for this failed relationship you will be able to move forward positively instead of blaming yourself or the other person for the breakup.
2 – Give yourself time and be patient
When you break up with someone it’s like when a loved one passes away. Even though the person is still alive, the mutual love relationship came to an end.
Give yourself time to process your feelings and let it all out. Whatever you are feeling, it’s OK.
Crying, yelling, speaking to yourself or to your imaginary Ex will release emotional energy, reduce stress, and help you to move on more quickly.
Some days will be easier than others. There will be times when everything reminds you of the other person and you will feel like it’s impossible to get over the sad feelings.
On these critical days, distraction can be the best option:
- Go for a walk
- Watch a movie
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Get a part time job that you like
- Volunteer for a cause that you value
- Take care of others in need
Keeping yourself busy doing something that makes you feel good will help you to minimize the emotional pain of the breakup.
3 – Take time for self-care
Breaking up impacts our self-esteem and we may feel like laying in bed, watching TV, eating fast food, and crying. This is OK for a couple of days but then it’s time to love and take care of ourselves.
Treat yourself like you wish the perfect partner would treat you.
Pamper, indulge, and love yourself.
Create a satisfying routine that will allow for healthy rhythms and reduce stress.
Remember to eat nutritious and healthy food.
Keep yourself occupied with meaningful activities and get enough sleep.
4 – Write in a journal
Do you have recurring thoughts about your Ex and your relationship?
If you feel overwhelmed by your feelings, just write them on paper. Emptying your mind on paper will provide room to think about other things that are meaningful to you.
Find our how writing will increase your feelings of well-being.
5 – Keep an active lifestyle
Engage in physical activity that makes you feel good. Exercise will activate the healing process after the emotional trauma.
When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which is a feel-good hormone. Here are more tips on how exercise will increase your happiness.
6 – Look for social connections
Make a list of all your friends.
Underline those friends who will not remind you of your Ex. Look for people who share your same interests.
Moreover, think about who do you usually have a good time with. Are there any acquaintances that you haven’t seen in a while? Reconnect and enjoy the time together.
Look for opportunities to create new friendships. As you will be surrounded by people who care about you, it will help you regain your self-esteem.
7 – Keep your ex away
If you want to feel better after a breakup even if you still love your Ex discard everything that reminds you of the other person.
Further, inspect every room and closet to make sure you throw away everything that reminds you of him or her.
Keep your mind clear. Don’t worry about the other person’s feelings or thoughts. We can’t change our past so don’t fantasize about different reactions or outcomes.
Whatever happened was for a reason and no matter how much we wish we could change our past, it’s not possible.
Block your Ex on all your social media to make sure you don’t have any contact. There is no such thing as a little peeking into what the other person might be doing.
In the first stages of the breakup, there is the fantasy that maybe the other person will change his or her mind.
It may be tempting to check what the other person is posting on social media. If the relationship ended for good, the thing to do is avoid any information related to the other person.
For whatever reason, the relationship did not work out.
8 – Make every day special
Schedule something to look forward to daily, weekly, and monthly. Write it on the calendar. This will help you to feel better after a breakup as you will focus on the future.
Make a list of everything you enjoy, love, or are curious about. Spend some time everyday engaging in it.
Once you know how to make yourself happy you will find others to share your happiness instead of waiting for someone to bring joy into your life.
9 – Moving forward
What are some projects or ideas you have been postponing due to lack of time or energy?
Spend some time everyday doing something that makes you feel good.
Some people like to travel, go to a new place, and forget all about the relationship. This will work if you are actively engaged in activities and interactions with others.
The person you broke up with is still in your mind and no matter where you go, he or she will stay there until you are able to engage your mind with something that brings you more joy than the lost relationship.
10 – Ask for help
Following these previous steps will make you feel better after a breakup.
If after a month or two the feelings of sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness increase, it may be time to consult with a therapist. A professional will be able to focus on your situation and provide individualized strategies that will provide relief for you.
Keep in mind that your perfect partner is out there and you will find each other when the moment is right and both of you are ready for it.
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I love all the steps. These are important to keep in mind not only for those who break up, but for any difficult situation we’re going through. Thank you.
Where was this after my first big breakup at the age of 20! I wish I had been able to read this post back then.
I think that attitude is everything! Having the good memories about the relationship is the best that any person can do!
It’s so true. I think everyone has gone through something like this at one time or another. These steps are great, and I think most important is to do things for yourself and keep your distance.
I totally agree with keep an active lifestyle to keep you occupied. Fill up with positive energy.
i don’t know if any of those steps are easy but they are essential to the healing process. I remember after a breakup I wore lipstick so people would draw more attention to my lips then my eyes as they could tell i was going through something.
That’s a great strategy. I usually wear sunglasses during the day if necessary but lipstick will definitely work for day and night.
I believe that everyone have experienced this I know some of the steps are not easy to do but I think it will become easy if we are going think about our self first.
Breakup is never easy but yes i agree with you, these are amazing ways to go through these challenging times.
It’s so true. These are fantastic tips!
I don’t even want to think about having a break-up! But these steps are helpful in making the healing process easier.
I always feel like break ups are the best time to do all the things for yourself. Take the workout class you want, travel, do all the self-care!
Keeping an active lifestyle and doing self-care are quite helpful in making you feel better after a breakup! Great tips ☺
love this topic! every single one of them is such an important tip. Breakup was never an easy thing, so we need to feel better despite all the pain we’ve experienced. Thanks so much for sharing
Your suggestions are great. These will help anyone undergoing difficult situations in life. Great.
Great tips. Heartbreak is hard to get over. It’s so important to keep you mind busy and occupied…thanks for sharing!
I went through a breakup at the end of last year and it was honestly so hard. But it is good to know that you will get through it and be better off in the end.
Social connections is really important, be it for happiness, sadness or anything, especially after breakup. We all are social animals.
Thanks for the wonderful post.
Rather than throwing everything away, I would suggest donating or repurposing it. I had my wedding band turned into an awesome toe ring. It looked fabulous and was very healing.
This is some really good advice! Going through a breakup is so difficult and it’s so important to focus on yourself and not on the past.
This topic can be hurtful for newly broken hearted but time does heal all. I been here before but this is a good healing article!
These are some powerful suggestions and advice to follow to help those suffering or going through a breakup period.
Omg going through a breakup Ian the absolute worst! Self care is definitely important. You need to take care of your self in order to move on and live your best life
Focusing on self-care and giving yourself the time you need is essential. It’s definitely worth looking into some of these for a friend who is dealing with this.
This advice is really great. Self care is most definitely too important to ignore.
Self-care and being active are positive steps towards getting over a breakup. Being positive too!
This is a great post for sure with anyone that may have this issue. I do love that I have found my lifelong partner as this is a hard thing to deal with and one that I am glad is not a problem for me anymore. Great tips provided here for anyone in need of a bit of help in the breakup department. Thanks for sharing!
One of my family members is currently going through a break-up and it’s really hard seeing her suffer. I think this will really help her place her feet firmly on the ground and guide her forward.
Thanks for the tips, hopefully I won’t need them anytime soon, haha! In all seriousness though, I’m sure many people can make great use of this post!
These are some great tips and they truly are very important to do when you are going through a break up.
Break ups are so hard! I don’t even want to imagine going through it. But the above tips are helpful for someone going through a breakup.