If you are shy or an introvert you may wonder how to meet new people.
Meeting new people can be very easy for extroverts who naturally flourish in social environments and enjoy all the attention they receive from others.
However when you are an introvert or a shy person, it can be scary to meet new people.
There are many characteristics that introverts and shy people have in common:
- Liking it quiet and feeling overwhelmed by too much going on around them
- Thinking through all their options before making decisions
- Talking to themselves
- Observing rather than participating in social activities
- Needing their alone time
- Finding it difficult to socialize
- Overthinking social situations
- Finding it difficult to set boundaries
- Saying yes when they want to say no, just to fit in
- Disliking crowds
The main difference is that introverts choose not to socialize while shy people are afraid of socializing or feel anxiety about meeting new people.
However, there are times when shy people and introverts wonder how to meet new people because they want to talk to someone or share their experiences.
What makes me most happy is connecting with others. I love meeting new people, being social, and engaging in empowering discussions.
Gabrielle Bernstein
Skills that are Useful to Meet New People
Instead of wishing for different personality traits such as:
- feeling comfortable in social situations
- being the center of attention
- having funny or interesting stories to share, or
- making quick decisions,
let’s take a look at some skills that most introverts share and that are helpful to make new friends.
1 – Good Listening Skills
Active listening skills are important because they encourage others to talk.
When you meet new people it’s important to rephrase what the other person said to make him or her feel understood.
In addition, introverts observe others rather than being the center of attention. This allows them to better understand the feelings of others by picking up subtle cues in social interactions.
Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.
Bill nye
2 – Prioritizing Quality in Relationships
Introverts value having few but loyal and attentive friends.
If you are wondering how to meet new people consider what values are important for you. This will provide clues as where you could find people with similar values that you have.
Once you have the opportunity to meet a new person consider asking value related questions.
Here are some examples:
What made you happy last year?
If money was not an issue, what would you do?
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Encourage everyone you meet with a smile or compliment. Make them feel better when you leave their presence and they will always be glad to see you coming.
joyce meyer
3 –Solving Problems
Introverts like spending time alone pondering questions, reading, and learning about topics of interest.
This helps you see the bigger picture and solve problems more efficiently.
In addition, most introverts are able to reflect and learn from their actions and mistakes. This insightfulness can help others to solve problems.
This skill can be valued in small groups where people share their interests.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale carnegie
4 – Being Authentic
Sharing your honest opinion with others instead of pretending to be someone you are not is a good starting point when meeting new people.
Introverts like sharing their honest thoughts and feelings when they feel comfortable with others.
This is helpful because people will trust your honest opinion.
Now that you know your areas of strengths it’s time to decide what qualities you can expect in your friends.
Experiment! Meet new people. That’s better than any college education… By adventuring, you become accustomed to the unexpected. The unexpected then becomes what it really is… the inevitable.
amelia earhart
How to Meet New People You will Value
Sometimes, people are desperate to meet new people and soon they realize that their new friends are not a good fit for their lifestyle and interests.
Here are some possible qualities you may want to consider when meeting new people.
Honesty
Honesty is an important quality in a new friend because you want to know that you can trust the person. Someone who tells a lot of lies or tries to get you to do things will not be a good friend.
If you are going to share secrets or sensitive information with your friends you want to make sure they are honest and you can trust them.
Curiosity and Common Interests
Friends interact with each other when they share common interests.
If you want to make new friends that you will value make sure that both of you are interested in similar topics and hobbies.
If your friend only cares about playing video games and you only care about reading romance books, there may be not much to talk about.
However, if you would consider playing video games or the other person is curious about romance novels, you could have some common ground to create a new friendship.
Having a curious friend means that he or she will ask questions and explore different answers. It can be boring to hang out with someone who thinks he or she has all the answers.
Shy people enjoy having long and deep conversations about topics of interest.
Positivity
It is nice to be friends with someone who is usually in a good mood, cheerful, and appreciative of the good things in life.
It can be exhausting to spend time with someone who is always complaining, criticizing, or whining about his or her circumstances.
Support
Friends will set aside time to listen and interact. We are all busy and sometimes we neglect our friends because there are so many other things to do.
Setting aside some time daily or weekly to interact with new friends is necessary for a friendship to grow.
Friends, accept each other even if they make mistakes or do weird things. You want to spend time with someone who can cheer you up when you had a couple of negative events happening in your life.
Understanding
A friend should respect your boundaries and your need to spend time by yourself. Friends who like to spend most of the time in social situations may have a hard time understanding your need to spend time alone.
Shy people usually don’t enjoy parties or crowds. This means that a friend should be able to accept these preferences.
Once you have a list of the qualities you would like in a friend you can start figuring out where you could find such a person.
How to Meet New People When You are Shy: 8 Easy Ways
Life is beautiful not because of the things we see or do. Life is beautiful because of the people we meet.
simon sinek
Here are some ideas to get you started.
1 – Take a Class
Participating in groups that share your same interests is an easy way to meet new people even if you are shy because the topic of conversation will be related to something you know or are eager to learn.
Choose small groups where you can easily interact with others. For example:
- Participate in fitness and health-related classes
- Learn a new language and interact with native speakers
- Improve your writing, coding, money management, or cooking skills
- Join a Bookclub
Also, consider who else would attend that class. Would it be people you want to meet?
Women enjoy crochet, knitting, or sewing classes. On the other hand, men attend technology or science-related groups.
If you are a woman trying to meet men try taking a golf class.
2 – Participate in Online Forums or Groups
There are many groups or communities online.
For example if you like books and writing, you may join the #writerscommunity on Twitter.
You may search for groups that discuss topics of interest in Facebook or Reddit. It may be blogging, investing, meditating, gaming, being mindful, or gardening.
Join groups that discuss topics you find interesting or that you know so that you can share your knowledge, ask questions, and learn from others.
If you are looking to make new friends in a safe, positive, and fun environment, join our Facebook Group: Make New Friends.
It’s free.
You need to be 18 years or older and treat others with kindness and respect.
3 – Interact Online with Likeminded People
A great way to meet new people online is to follow and interact with others who have similar interests than you do.
For example if you like books and writing, you may join the #writerscommunity on Twitter.
If you are interested in cooking or sports look for hashtags on the different social media. You will get new ideas and meet new people who share your same interests.
Think about someone who inspires you.
Find out what social media the person is the most active on and respond to the posts and interact with the person and other followers on a weekly basis. When you read other people’s comments you may have an idea of who you like to interact with.
Responding to comments will also lead to meeting new people.
Over time, this interactions could lead to a friendship.
4 – Volunteer for a Cause that is Close to your Heart
There are many organization that work to help others and need volunteers.
Participate once a week or as often as you can and connect with others who share your same interests.
Many shy people love animals and are able to make furry and human friends while volunteering at animal shelters.
5 – Find Groups in Your Area
There are many ways to find groups in your area such as the newspaper, library, or meetup.com
You can find groups for reading, writing, meditating, practicing martial arts, dancing, among many others.
6 – Get to Know your Neighbors
Start by saying hello every time you see one of your neighbors. Then, you could ask informal questions related to the weather, seasons, or news.
Later, you could start a conversation.
Here are 10 Tips on How to Start a Conversation When You Are Shy.
Find a park in your area and regularly go for a walk.
Even if there isn’t any park nearby, just walking a few blocks every day will help you to meet new people, especially if you do it at the same time.
7 – Participate in Work Related Activities
You spend many hours every day at work and can comfortably talk about it.
Look for professional development opportunities so that you can interact with other people who work in a similar environment.
8 – Meet the Friends of your Current Friends
If you want to meet new people, ask your current friends to introduce you to their friends. This could result in new friendships.
Now that you got some ideas of how to meet new people, what will you do first?
Let me know in the comments below.
All through my school years, I had a lot of acquaintances and only a handful of close friends ( 5 – 10) that I confided in and hung out with. As I approach 55 I can still pick up with that handful of friends just like it was yesterday that we last saw each other.
That is awesome because you know each other very well.
I appreciate this post as I am an introvert.
Oh this is a great post on being authentic and making friends!
Amazing tips!!! Yes absolutely…Honesty, being authentic, being a giver, i can’t agree more…Thanks a lot.
I can be pretty introverted, this is super helpful.
These are all really great tips for shy people to get out of the shell!
I love this. This is something I need to work on. Thank you.
Great article indeed! Very helpful tips. Thank you!