During the coronavirus pandemic and the stay-at-home order we have to deal with more family conflicts due to all the changes in our everyday life. 

Kids are learning online and adults are spending more time at home.  

At first this sounded like a great opportunity to enjoy more time with our loved ones but as time goes by we are finding out that being together 24 hours a day also increases the opportunities for family drama. 

There are additional reasons for stress and anxiety at home such as: 

• fears about coronavirus  

• economic worries 

• fatigue from caretaking 

• differing points of view about everyday tasks 

• disagreements about the severity of the virus

• uncertainties about what will happen next 

• juggling work and caretaking 

Moreover, depending on our past experiences, expectations, and beliefs we will react differently to the coronavirus pandemic. 

This means that to our ordinary family issues, now we have to add the stress of COVID-19.

Let’s find out how to get along harmoniously with our loved ones while we spend more time at home.

How to Deal with Family Conflicts at Home

1 – Focus on the Problem

Bring up the issue like it is something that needs to be discussed without blaming or shaming the other person.  

In addition, keep in mind that you will see the problem from a different point of view depending on your priorities:   

• Keeping everyone in the house healthy

• Making sure there is enough food and supplies

• Doing chores or keeping a routine

• Having privacy and alone time 

• Taking care of kids or elderly parents 

• Helping kids with schoolwork 

• Staying within a budget 

Here is an example:

Instead of blaming and getting mad at the person who usually does the shopping for the lack of toilet paper, think about how to solve the problem. 

There isn’t enough toilet paper, what can we do? 

Let’s come up with possible solutions: 

• order it online and wait

• use less paper to make it last longer 

• borrow some from friends, family or neighbors  

• use alternatives to toilet paper such as water, tissue paper, napkins, wipes, or cloth

It is very easy to get mad at the person who usually is in charge of shopping but this does not solve the problem. 

2 – Listen and Keep Communication Open

Understanding the other person’s priorities is a good starting point to deal with family conflicts.

Moreover, when stating your point of view use “I” statements. Calmly communicate how you are feeling instead of blaming the other person for a negative outcome.   

For example, instead of saying, “You are glued to your screen all day long and ignore everything that happens around you.”

Try, “I feel overwhelmed with helping the kids with homework, making sure there is food, and working from home.”

Even if you know exactly what the other person is going to say, let him or her articulate his or her point of view.

In addition, If the other person perceives that you are listening he or she will be more willing to listen to your concerns.

There are times when we feel the need to quickly react to the other person. Take a deep breath and take a more empathetic approach.

Here you will find out how empathy can make you happy.

Instead of quickly reacting with why the other person is wrong, try asking questions related to your concerns.

In this time of stay-at-home order, we need to find positive ways to solve conflicts.

Use “we” when talking about the problem as both are involved in the same issue. For example: “We need to decide what to do about helping our kids with schoolwork” instead of “You need to do schoolwork with our kids. “

If you are not able to come to a mutual agreement, keep the communication open to continue later.

3 – Find the Right Time

May be you have been thinking about an issue for a long time hoping that the other person will realize that he or she needs to change his or her behavior.

However, the other person may not be aware of how much a specific situation bothers you. 

Instead of babbling out your concerns, look for the right time.

Maybe when the other person: 

• is in a good mood 

•  has some downtime 

• shares similar concerns  

• is not distracted

You may start asking some questions to find out how the other person feels about the issue or if she or he even perceives the situation as a problem.

4 – Express your Emotions

There are times when we or our loved ones may feel sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, or fearful.  

In addition, some family members may struggle to clearly express their feelings and emotions. For example, kids may misbehave or defy authority when they feel scared, stressed, or frustrated. 

Moreover, share how you are feeling and encourage others to do the same.

Now that we spend most of our time at home and with our family, sharing our emotions is a good way to connect and deal with family conflicts before they lead to more serious issues.

Likewise, give yourself some time to cool down before responding to other family members frustrations.

Furthermore, we all have bad days and different triggers that put us in a bad mood.

You may also be interested in: How to Manage Coronavirus Anxiety: 10 Easy Tips

5 – Create a New Routine

With the coronavirus pandemic, everyone’s routine has changed.

Kids don’t go to school anymore.

Adults work from home or are searching for jobs that can be completed without close contact with others.

On the other hand, there are “essential” workers such as the health care professionals, grocery store or transportation workers who perform their job duties under the stress of getting sick.

We need to create a new daily or weekly schedule that works for us.

In addition, routines make us feel safe as we are able to predict what will happen in the next hours and days.

This will also help to reduce family conflicts as everyone knows what to expect.

6 – Establish Boundaries 

What are your physical, emotional, and mental limits to feel safe?

The personal space and time is tight now that we are not able to spend time away from home.

The smaller the living space, the more important it is to talk about these issues with the rest of the family to avoid misunderstandings.

For example: 

• use of common spaces such as the kitchen and living room

• establish some privacy 

• distinguish quiet time and shared activities  

•  take care of yourself

If you need additional information, here are Self-Care Tips to Be Happy.

7 – Address the Problems Promptly

Instead of stewing about a problem, address it. 

Don’t keep conflicts or disagreements to yourself. Once you noticed a problem, share your concerns using “I statements”.

For example instead of blaming the other person by saying “You are so disorganized and never clean up after yourself.”

You could try, “I would also have a hard time finding things in this room. If you clean up you’ll find what you are looking for.”

8 – Include More Creativity in Your Day

 Make some time to: 

• Listen or make music

• Draw

• Dance

• Write or journal

• Read

• Do something you enjoy

Spending more time doing something creative will help you to feel more relaxed and in control. This will help when dealing with family conflicts.

Did family conflicts increase in your home since the COVID-19 stay-at-home order? What effective ways did you find to solve conflicts with your loved ones? Let me know in the comments below. 

If you want to feel happier in your everyday life, you will find everything you need in Turn Your Happiness On.