The biggest happiness myth is the false belief that once we achieve a certain goal in the future, we will be forever happy. Here are some common goals we expect will make us happy:

  • getting married
  • earning a degree
  • moving to a new city
  • having kids
  • becoming successful and rich
  • opening our own business
  • buying new technology
  • curing an illness
  • etc.

After these accomplishments we will most likely feel happy but not for a long time. The good feelings may last a couple of months and then we get used to our new circumstances. 

There are two problems with this happiness myth:

  • expecting to be happy in the future
  • attaching happiness to an outcome

Happiness Myth: In the Future

Our future happiness is an illusion that may help us to overcome undesirable or trying times. If we are going through a divorce, caring for a sick loved one, or facing unemployment, it’s relieving to think that in the future things are going to be better.

As time goes by, things change and we change. One problem may disappear or be solved and a new one comes up.

It is great to foresee some pleasant experiences in our future such as vacations, a new job, or becoming a parent but expecting that this new event will make us feel extremely joyful for ever after is unrealistic.

When I was a child, I used to attach happiness to my birthday, Christmas, Easter, or vacations. I would count the days and my expectations were so high that once the date came I was usually disappointed. Then, I had to wait for the next exciting date.

Moreover, I always have a wake-up call when people I know pass away, unexpectedly. They get sick, have an accident, or something unforeseeable happens. That’s when I remind myself to be grateful for still being alive and for all the possibilities that are available. 

We assume that we will live for many more years but nobody knows for sure what will happen tomorrow. Unexpected events happen around us every day. The purpose of thinking this way is not to be scared and hide under the bed but to appreciate the present moment.

When we put all our expectations in the future we fail to be happy in the present. We forget to enjoy the journey, to acknowledge all the good that is around us right now. To enhance the feelings of happiness fully enjoy the before, during, and after experience of what you want.

Happiness Myth: Goal Achievement

We expect to be forever happy after accomplishing a specific goal. It may be to earn a certain amount of money, meet our perfect partner, earn a degree, reach a certain weight, etc.

Goal achievement will make us happy but not for a long time.

Happiness is a moving target. Once we have what we thought would make us happy, then we wish for something else. Psychology researchers call it hedonic adaptation, which means that we get used to our new more positive circumstances. After a short period of time we are again fantasizing about the new event that will bring more joy into our life.

For many years, I thought that if the happiness wore off after achieving a goal, it was because it was not the right goal. So, I would set a new goal, hoping that it was the right one, this time.

We may pursue a goal with all our energy and determination only to find out many years later that we were after the wrong goal regretting all the time and effort we waisted trying to make it happen.

  • Relationships that didn’t work out.
  • Promotions that never happened.
  • Businesses that never took off or ended up in disappointment.

Depending on our specific circumstances we may make progress or not toward our goals. The good thing is that we don’t need to wait to achieve our goals to be happy. 

It is possible to feel joyful while we pursue our goals, which is a good sign that we are on the right path.

My Biggest Happiness Myth

One of my biggest happiness myths was getting my bachelor’s degree. It seemed that everyone was successfully completing their college degree except me. All my friends were already professionals working successfully while I was still trying to decide what I was going to do with my life.

My main problem was that I was interested in so many things that my curiosity would stir me in many different directions and I was frequently changing majors and classes.

I would think about how much money graduates make, job demand, and how others perceive professionals in that specific area.

I was so focused on my future and the goal of graduating, that I did not pay enough attention to the process. It was not before I was able to concentrate on the journey that I started enjoying my classes and could see myself having a bachelor’s degree in something I was always interested and curious about: psychology.

 Great, I got my degree. Now what? I needed to find an exciting job. Once I got an exciting job I was looking forward to a promotion and raise. There is always something else we strive for.

What to do about our Biggest Happiness Myth

Research studies show that lottery winners feel immense happiness about their good fortune but after one year they get used to having more money and their level of happiness goes back to where it was before winning the lottery.

Instead of chasing events that will happen in the future and we expect will make us forever happy, think about happiness as a compass that will guide us in the right direction.

There are many factors that are out of our control such as changes in the economy, climate, or laws. However, we are in charge of how much effort, time, and joy is involved in our goals.

Make sure you are enjoying the everyday experience of working on your goals by using the best case scenario strategy.

Being aware of the biggest happiness myth will help you to make difficult decisions to move toward the life you want to live. 

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